*Knock knock* Is this thing on?

Hey... dusting off this old blog o' mine and going to see if I can post more often than once or twice a year. Mostly be talking about homeschooling, baby wrangling, a little bit of worldview, a little bit of self discovery. I dunno... Let's see where it takes us.

While you're here, I just want to give a shout-out to Homeschool Buyer's Co-op for always having the best deals on curriculum and online programs and services. My subscription to Homeschool Planet -- their online lesson planning/ gradekeeping software -- has absolutely helped me keep my 4 kid juggling act together. If you click on this link and sign up, I get SmartPoints and so do you! You get more SmartPoints with your first order. I'm not being paid to say this (except in SmartPoints). I genuinely dig the site and can see no reason for you not to join.

Homeschooling's #1 Way to Save

First Day...

We started over today with a homeschool routine with a sizable daily screen break for all of us. I am seeking to connect more with the people in my home and to limit distractions that wheedle their way in from the outside world via screens. It's so hard for me. The internet is the connection to my mommy support system. But I've got three -- soon to be four -- little souls looking to me and I owe them much more of me than they've been getting lately.


This was my handwritten journal entry today during screen free time.

6/13/16
The First Day of the Rest of Our Lives

I can't say I blame him for his skepticism. Mikey says I can't go without screens. The urge to Facebook the interaction removes any defense I have. I will try, I say. All I can do is try.

It's never too late. We can start over. We can do better. I can have the close, happy, engaged, interesting family that I want to have.

I do not need to Facebook this.

I need to actually live this.

I can't stop the hate and disconnection out there in the world. I can't fix the worldwide sickness that makes people hurt and kill each other.

But I can build up the love and connection here at home. If I want them to read, I have to read. If I want them to write, I have to write. If I want them to find and pursue their passions, I must have passions.

Mikey's reading about Beethoven
Joey's practicing [writing the letter] "g"
Cece's doing the castle book.

And we're all doing alright.

Remembering Fostertown

late January 2015

I am enjoying my first homebrewed cup of coffee in our new house. It is in a travel mug, largely because that was the first coffee delivery vessel I encountered when opening the box that my mother quite thoughtfully labeled, "Coffee mugs". But also because the mountains of boxes surrounding me indicate that this will be a large coffee kind of day.

The kids and I have stayed home from church. I know God understands the enormity of picking up one's entire existence and moving it even just 20 minutes away. In the last few days, I have been offering prayers of thanks up as often as I've had a chance to stop for a minute and look around and breathe. I gave thanks for the house on Fostertown Lane where our little family essentially began. I remember our first time touring it with a three month old Mikey tucked into a fleece pouch on my chest. I remember the excitement and hope we felt as we explored all its rooms: "Mikey will sleep there, and that will be the guest / sewing room." And the jubilation we felt when we found out our offer -- which we'd feared to be too low -- was accepted. I remember painting the larger of the two bedrooms, so we could Mikey into it to share with his impending baby brother. I remember bringing that little Joey home and snuggling with him in a mayawrap ring sling on the couch. Watching Mikey learn how to be a big brother and learning the particular joy that a loving sibling relationship brings to both the children and their mother. Cuddling with my boys. Building forts out of couch cushions. Playing with play-doh on the dining room table and cursing as I picked it out of the carpet later. I gave thanks for the home to which we brought home our darling tiny Cecilia Grace and we all got to learn the particular joy that a little girl brings into a home. Watching them all take their first steps across the living room. Sitting in the glider and rocking them all to sleep. Reading The Cat in the Hat and Where the Wild Things Are and so many others so many time we can recite them by heart. And singing them to sleep with Barenaked Ladies and Tom Petty songs because they were more interesting to us the exhausted parents than traditional lullabies. So much love and gratitude for that house on Fostertown Lane. It will always be the first home we owned and the home where we learned to be parents. It will forever contain the baby steps my children took. Now a new family is beginning there. The couple who purchased our home is expecting. I'm so glad that our old home will continue to be blessed with family and I pray they will find the happiness and hope there that we always did.

I give thanks for our new home in Williamstown. For large spaces and opportunities to devote physical space to the things that matter most to us.

We Are Homeschoolers!!

I am so excited to announce that our family has made the decision to homeschool this year!  This was not an easy decision nor one which we took lightly at all.  I spent much of this year doing some intensive soul searching and weighing out pros and cons in order to decide what the best choice in education would be for Mikey (and by extension the other children and ourselves).  Ultimately -- with full support from my husband -- I made the choice that I'd longed to make all along.  I made the choice to continue being my son's primary teacher and to engage in our educational journey together here at home.  

For Mikey's Kindergarten year, we are using Five in a Row, which is a unit study curriculum which we will use to explore social studies, art, science, math, and language arts as revealed and inspired by some awesome works of children's literature.  We will be learning to read using Hooked on Phonics and also by  reading a lot together and independently.  For writing, we are using Handwriting Without Tears.  And Math U See -- a fun and engaging math curriculum loved by many homeschoolers I know -- will round out our formal curriculum.  Naturally, we will still have plenty of opportunities to learn through play.  Mikey has a rich and clever imagination and loves to play with building blocks, art supplies, games, puzzles, and more!  We are always learning through everything we do.  I hope my children always enjoy the process and adventure of learning!  Joey will be learning alongside us, but he will also continue attending preschool at Rowan two mornings a week.  

We completed our first week of homeschooling last week.  We had our ups and downs.  It will definitely take us all some time to work out the kinks and get into a smooth and comfortable routine, but we had fun and learned new things!  And that's what it's all about! 

Here is our calendar area:

Season and weather:

 

Story Disks for Five in a Row -- We use these to identify our stories' settings on the map.  Five in a Row sells a set of these for $15, but I did this using a copy of the page in the teacher's book, the kids' markers, and a laminator.  

 Weekly Schedule: I need to fill in Little Gym and Joey's school days:

Art Center (the center is a work in progress) That's Joey's picture on the easel

Science Center (also in progress -- so far the fish tank is it)

Mikey working on his vocabulary for Papa Piccolo -- the first Five in a Row book we "rowed" (studied)

We learned about the color wheel!  

Mikey used watercolors to recreate this scene from Papa Piccolo 

-- just like its illustrator Itoko Maeno did 

Joey and Mikey made Italian flags!  We learned about Venice, Italy.

Mikey used sidewalk chalk to create the buildings and 

canals of Venice.  (The orange-ish spots you see are the

buildings.  The green and blue he used for the canals are

a little tough to see in this picture.)      

As part of my own journey as mother, educator, and learner; I plan to reflect on and share our experiences via this blog.  I hope you enjoy seeing our adventures!  For now, it's hide and seek time and it's my turn to hide.  Cheers!

I'm a proud mama of two intact boys

There. I said it. And maybe when they're older, they'll be mortified to find this blog post and realize I was talking about their penises on the internet. But I hope that they'll be grateful that I let them keep their whole bodies. Heck, I don't even like to say that I "let" them. John and I didn't feel it was our decision to make. And I hope they'll understand that I talk about it here in the hopes that I can convince even one parent out there to leave their precious babies whole and intact in the way that was intended by God or nature or whatever higher power in which that parent believes.

Not a day goes by that I'm not grateful for my boys' whole and beautiful little bodies. Their fingers and toes. Their eyelids and chins. Mikey's cute little dimples. Joey's sweet little spaced out teeth. And yes; their penises have foreskin. It's marvelous to watch them grow and change and learn how to move and function within their whole skin. It's miraculous that out of four microscopic cells grew two perfect and complete human beings. It's awe-inspiring that I housed them in my body for over forty wonderful weeks each and that I was able to provide everything they needed to become people! They were absolutely perfect at birth. They required no alteration.

It took less than five minutes of conversation while I was pregnant with Mikey for John and I to realize that there was no way we would allow any part of our precious son to be removed at birth. And the more I've read and researched in the years since, the more confident in that decision I've become and the more passionate I've become in my belief that every child has the right to retain the entirety of the genitals he or she was born with. The prepuce (or foreskin) is a valuable and integral part of a normal, whole functioning penis. From birth through adolescence and sometimes into young adulthood, it adheres tightly to the shaft of the penis (much as a fingernail adheres to the finger) to protect the glans and urethra from infection. In an adult, the foreskin provides lubrication and millions of nerve endings to aid in sexual performance and pleasure. It is not a birth defect. It is no more dirty, disease-prone, or extraneous than any other part a child is born with. It is analagous to the clitoral hood in females (and in fact, in the early weeks of gestation these parts are identical in the fetus). I think most of us in the U.S. are horrified when we hear tales of female genital cutting. But we're conditioned in this society to believe it is perfectly normal to do this to baby boys. We need to think about this issue critically, and without the filter of generations of propaganda that seek to justify this unnecessary and painful procedure.

There are many reasons to leave a baby boy intact, but for us the most important one -- the one that encompasses all the rest of them -- is simply this: it is not our body. We have no ethical right to make this decision on behalf of our sons.

We have never had any trouble with our boys' penises. We clean the outside like we do any other body part (note: you need never retract someone else's penis!!). It's far easier than the wound care I've seen my friends with circumcised newborns need to perform. I can't imagine how stressful that is on top of all the other adjustment that takes place during those early weeks.

Now, many of my friends -- many of whom may be reading this blog post -- have opted to have their sons circumcised. I know you made the decision you thought was best for your sons. I know that you are kind, loving, wonderful parents who always seek to make the best decisions possible for your children. I don't hate you. I don't blame you for circumcising your sons. But I do hope that if you plan to have more children, you will think critically about this procedure and realize that there is no need to repeat it on subsequent sons. I do hope if a friend comes to you asking for advice, you will respond objectively and not defensively recommend circumcision just because that is the choice that you made. And I hope you can appreciate and respect that this is an issue that I feel very strongly about, and still remain my friend even though you chose differently.

Thoughtful, respectful comments on this post are welcome. Abusive comments will not be published. Thank you in advance for keeping this conversation civil and supportive.

Joey's Birth Story

When I posted Mikey's birth story, several people asked about Joey's. My answer is that I'd post his story when I was so moved. I expected this to be around his birthday, but for whatever reason I just never got it posted.

It's the night before my own birthday. From what my mom has told me of my own birth, my dad rushed her into the hospital and had to insist to doubtful medical personnel that "if my wife says she's having this baby now, she's having this baby NOW." She was wheeled into a delivery room and sure enough, I was already crowning. In about an hour, it will be exactly 33 years since this happened. It never occurred to me until just this moment -- as I was trying to find a connection between my birth and my second son's -- how very similar my birth (my mother's second-born) was to the birth of my own second-born. Both my son and I were born quickly and confidently to strong, confident mothers. Neither my mother nor I, in the moment of impending birth, seemed to give indication of just how very close to delivery we were. I'm sort of awed and humbled by the parallels.

Without further ado, here's Joey's story:

I began losing my mucus plug in the morning on Tuesday, September 15. Mikey and I were at a playgroup at a kid friendly coffee house. A woman was playing acoustic guitar and singing kid songs and Mikey was just dancing around and playing with the toys and chattering with all the patrons. It was such a happy and peaceful and musical beginning. I didn't know how long it would be, but I knew the birth of my second son was imminent and all was well with my world.

Contractions began that evening, consistently enough to prompt a call to my doula Jodi, but they were 10-20 minutes apart and not at all strong. Jodi confirmed that it was probably prodromal labor and instructed me to get some sleep and to call her when things picked up. I had also called my mother to come down, because I was sure things were going to start very soon and she was going to take care of Mikey for us when the time came to go to the hospital. The contractions slowed down overnight, and I woke up on Wednesday a little discouraged, but kept myself calm and reminded myself that my baby and my body knew what to do, and everything would happen in the time it was meant to. Around 11am on Wednesday, contractions began again and they continued to come all day. We went to my weekly midwife's appointment and explained what was happening. She agreed that it was probably almost show time, but scheduled an induction for 41 weeks 6 days (9 days later) just in case. I wasn't upset about this at all because I knew I was going to be having my baby very soon.

My mother-in-law arrived around dinner time and we all ordered and ate a pizza. Jodi called me in the early evening to check in and see how things were going. I told her contractions had been coming consistently all day but were still at least 10 minutes apart, so I was sure we had plenty of time to go. She told me she'd be teaching a group childbirth class that evening, but to text or call as soon as anything changed or I felt I needed her. I texted Jodi back around 8:30 to let her know that contractions were now consistently coming every 5 minutes and lasting nearly a minute a piece. I asked her to come after her class was over. Then settled in for the evening alternating playing on my computer and watching tv with John and our moms.

I knew I should be using Hypnobabies techniques to “handle” the contractions, but honestly they didn't need much handling at that point. I definitely had to stop and focus on my breathing, but I didn't feel the need to enter hypnosis or do any specific visualizations. I just breathed through them and swayed back and forth either sitting on the birth ball (when I was at my computer) or slightly squatting / leaning with the couch back for support (when I was in the living room watching tv with the family) or leaning on / dancing with John. I was also drinking lots of water. Jodi said by the time she arrived around 10:30, she thought we had many hours to go based on how I was laughing and talking about other things and how she saw me handling the contractions when they came. They did start to feel increasingly uncomfortable, but I just continued to breathe through them. Honestly, at this point I didn't think about the labor much or have much of a plan or idea on how I wanted things to go. I kept waiting for it to get difficult enough to need to really turn in and use my Hypnobabies techniques or even put a script on in my headphones.

Finally, just before midnight, I went to the bathroom and had a really intense contraction that actually made me cry and lose my composure a bit. I came out and told John and Jodi that I was to the point where I didn't think I'd be able to handle the car ride if we waited much longer. Jodi nodded and said she'd been thinking much the same thing. I then had two contractions pretty much right on top of each other. Everything was already in the car, so we got my mom (who had no idea that we were even close to needing to get to the hospital) and went. I put on the Easy First Stage script and listened to it in the car. I wasn't able to turn “off” because I needed to brace my feet against the floor and push my bottom off the seat as best I could when waves came. But I kept my eyes closed, I kept my breathing as steady as I could, and I just focused on the voice in my ears.

We got to the hospital and got buzzed in. The nurses escorted us to our room and one of them brought me to the bathroom and gave me a robe and a belly band they'd use to hold the monitors in place. I somehow managed to get these on even as contractions were wracking my body. I got into the bed and lay back which was absolutely torturous. They got the monitors placed, and the nurse did a cervical check. I was dilated 6-7cm, 100% effaced. She asked me twice if my membranes had ruptured because she was surprised they hadn't with how well the baby's head was applied to my cervix. She tied the tourniquet on my arm to place the IV when another wave came. And then my water broke and I completely lost it. I made some pretty guttural screams and thrashed about a bit. I've never been so frightened. But John and Jodi were there to my left and brought me back. Jodi made me look at her and stare her in the eyes. “What's happening?” she asked. “I think my water broke,” I cried. And then INTENSE pressure in my bowels and cervix. The baby was pushing himself out. I was so scared since she'd just said I was 7 cm. I knew he couldn't come out if I was only 7, and I didn't want him or me to get hurt. Another one or two of those INTENSE pushing contractions. I was intensely frightened and sort of lost it each time these contractions twisted my body against my own will. But my birth team was key. I was holding somebody's hand on my right, and I realized after the fact that it was my mom's. John kept speaking words of encouragement and his voice and his presence just automatically made me feel more calm and controlled. Jodi just made me look at her and blow the contractions away and blow my baby out. The nurses were scrambling like mad getting the baby's bassinet ready, getting the “delivery” equipment ready... yelling at me not to push, but I couldn't not push. I wasn't pushing; Joey was. The nurse checked me quickly and confirmed I was complete and I guess it was pretty obvious anyway, because his head was there. One or two more contractions and he just sort of slipped out, into the hands of Rhonda the nurse. He'd had his left arm bent up around his own neck, so I did tear a bit on delivery. He cried immediately on his birth and I felt such physical and emotional relief once he was out. They brought the baby up to my chest and started rubbing him vigorously. That wasn't really what I'd wanted, but I was so bewildered at that point that I was okay with pretty much anything that didn't hurt him. John did manage to stop them from clamping the cord before it stopped pulsing, so we did get that wish fulfilled for this baby. And John was able to cut the cord, which fulfilled his wish that had been stolen from him at Mikey's birth.

Joseph Cuono was born at 1:14am on Thursday, September 17, 2009, approximately 13 minutes after we'd walked into the hospital room. He weighed 6 lbs 15 ounces and measured 19.5 inches long. He had a full head of beautiful black hair and the most gorgeous deep almond-shaped eyes I've ever seen. His head was perfectly round; after all, it didn't spend a lot of time getting squeezed through the birth canal! We put him to my breast within 15 minutes of his birth, and he did latch on. Nursing was slow for his first day of life, but on his second he really figured it out and has been eating like a champ ever since!

The doctor who practices with my midwife arrived about 5 minutes after he was born. She delivered his placenta and stitched up my 2^nd degree tear. She gave us a bit of a stern look over not having arrived in time to get antibiotics due to my positive GBS diagnosis. It wasn't deliberate on our part though. Joey just decided to be born a lot sooner and quicker than we thought he would! (And as an epilogue to that part of the story, the blood culture they drew from Joey came back completely negative, as we knew it would since my membranes didn't rupture until right before he came out).

So there it is, my completely natural birth story for my second son. I am SO proud of myself and my son. By trusting in us, I was able to have the experience that I wanted to have. I am SO grateful for the support of my amazing husband John and my wonderful mom Cathie and incredible doula Jodi. Without positive people believing in me and telling me that I could do it, I'm not sure that I could have. My recovery from this birth has been light years better than that from my intervention heavy one. I can't believe that it's mere coincidence.

Although I didn't actively employ many Hypnobabies techniques during the labor and birth, I think that it helped me tremendously. I think that having practiced feeling relaxed and calm for the last few months of my pregnancy helped me to feel relaxed and calm during labor even if I didn't consciously enter a state of hypnosis. I think that all the affirmations and positive language that I'd absorbed and lived about how birthing is natural and easy and comfortable really helped my overall state of consciousness and made that true for me.

Life's a Beach!

Yesterday I took the boys to the beach with my mom for the second time this summer. There was a late start, due to Mikey's school. And there was a lot of stuff to haul. And the sand made poor Joey just about miserable. Especially when Mikey took a big ol' shovelful of it and dumped it on his head. It was hot and the showers inside the changing area weren't working so everybody had to use the ones outside. Poor Joey suffered the injustice of a harsh spray in cold water after having already born the sea sand scalp scrub courtesy of his brother. That is one exfoliated baby!

But man. It was a good time! We went to the boardwalk and had delicious sandwiches at this place that bakes its own rolls fresh. And fresh french fries with the skins on. Mikey rode a bunch of rides. Seeing the smile on his face just made me burst with love and gratitude. I have the honor of mothering this awesome kid! And the joy of introducing him to the joys of life.

We stumbled home at 10:45PM. Sleepy, sandy, and sun-kissed. "You all smell like the beach," John said.



See the tongue sticking out as he concentrates? He gets that from me.



Don't let Joey try to tell you he didn't have any fun.



Tough to get a picture of a kiddie ride with a camera phone. Actually, I kind of like the blurriness with the crazy bright colors.