Joey's Birth Story

When I posted Mikey's birth story, several people asked about Joey's. My answer is that I'd post his story when I was so moved. I expected this to be around his birthday, but for whatever reason I just never got it posted.

It's the night before my own birthday. From what my mom has told me of my own birth, my dad rushed her into the hospital and had to insist to doubtful medical personnel that "if my wife says she's having this baby now, she's having this baby NOW." She was wheeled into a delivery room and sure enough, I was already crowning. In about an hour, it will be exactly 33 years since this happened. It never occurred to me until just this moment -- as I was trying to find a connection between my birth and my second son's -- how very similar my birth (my mother's second-born) was to the birth of my own second-born. Both my son and I were born quickly and confidently to strong, confident mothers. Neither my mother nor I, in the moment of impending birth, seemed to give indication of just how very close to delivery we were. I'm sort of awed and humbled by the parallels.

Without further ado, here's Joey's story:

I began losing my mucus plug in the morning on Tuesday, September 15. Mikey and I were at a playgroup at a kid friendly coffee house. A woman was playing acoustic guitar and singing kid songs and Mikey was just dancing around and playing with the toys and chattering with all the patrons. It was such a happy and peaceful and musical beginning. I didn't know how long it would be, but I knew the birth of my second son was imminent and all was well with my world.

Contractions began that evening, consistently enough to prompt a call to my doula Jodi, but they were 10-20 minutes apart and not at all strong. Jodi confirmed that it was probably prodromal labor and instructed me to get some sleep and to call her when things picked up. I had also called my mother to come down, because I was sure things were going to start very soon and she was going to take care of Mikey for us when the time came to go to the hospital. The contractions slowed down overnight, and I woke up on Wednesday a little discouraged, but kept myself calm and reminded myself that my baby and my body knew what to do, and everything would happen in the time it was meant to. Around 11am on Wednesday, contractions began again and they continued to come all day. We went to my weekly midwife's appointment and explained what was happening. She agreed that it was probably almost show time, but scheduled an induction for 41 weeks 6 days (9 days later) just in case. I wasn't upset about this at all because I knew I was going to be having my baby very soon.

My mother-in-law arrived around dinner time and we all ordered and ate a pizza. Jodi called me in the early evening to check in and see how things were going. I told her contractions had been coming consistently all day but were still at least 10 minutes apart, so I was sure we had plenty of time to go. She told me she'd be teaching a group childbirth class that evening, but to text or call as soon as anything changed or I felt I needed her. I texted Jodi back around 8:30 to let her know that contractions were now consistently coming every 5 minutes and lasting nearly a minute a piece. I asked her to come after her class was over. Then settled in for the evening alternating playing on my computer and watching tv with John and our moms.

I knew I should be using Hypnobabies techniques to “handle” the contractions, but honestly they didn't need much handling at that point. I definitely had to stop and focus on my breathing, but I didn't feel the need to enter hypnosis or do any specific visualizations. I just breathed through them and swayed back and forth either sitting on the birth ball (when I was at my computer) or slightly squatting / leaning with the couch back for support (when I was in the living room watching tv with the family) or leaning on / dancing with John. I was also drinking lots of water. Jodi said by the time she arrived around 10:30, she thought we had many hours to go based on how I was laughing and talking about other things and how she saw me handling the contractions when they came. They did start to feel increasingly uncomfortable, but I just continued to breathe through them. Honestly, at this point I didn't think about the labor much or have much of a plan or idea on how I wanted things to go. I kept waiting for it to get difficult enough to need to really turn in and use my Hypnobabies techniques or even put a script on in my headphones.

Finally, just before midnight, I went to the bathroom and had a really intense contraction that actually made me cry and lose my composure a bit. I came out and told John and Jodi that I was to the point where I didn't think I'd be able to handle the car ride if we waited much longer. Jodi nodded and said she'd been thinking much the same thing. I then had two contractions pretty much right on top of each other. Everything was already in the car, so we got my mom (who had no idea that we were even close to needing to get to the hospital) and went. I put on the Easy First Stage script and listened to it in the car. I wasn't able to turn “off” because I needed to brace my feet against the floor and push my bottom off the seat as best I could when waves came. But I kept my eyes closed, I kept my breathing as steady as I could, and I just focused on the voice in my ears.

We got to the hospital and got buzzed in. The nurses escorted us to our room and one of them brought me to the bathroom and gave me a robe and a belly band they'd use to hold the monitors in place. I somehow managed to get these on even as contractions were wracking my body. I got into the bed and lay back which was absolutely torturous. They got the monitors placed, and the nurse did a cervical check. I was dilated 6-7cm, 100% effaced. She asked me twice if my membranes had ruptured because she was surprised they hadn't with how well the baby's head was applied to my cervix. She tied the tourniquet on my arm to place the IV when another wave came. And then my water broke and I completely lost it. I made some pretty guttural screams and thrashed about a bit. I've never been so frightened. But John and Jodi were there to my left and brought me back. Jodi made me look at her and stare her in the eyes. “What's happening?” she asked. “I think my water broke,” I cried. And then INTENSE pressure in my bowels and cervix. The baby was pushing himself out. I was so scared since she'd just said I was 7 cm. I knew he couldn't come out if I was only 7, and I didn't want him or me to get hurt. Another one or two of those INTENSE pushing contractions. I was intensely frightened and sort of lost it each time these contractions twisted my body against my own will. But my birth team was key. I was holding somebody's hand on my right, and I realized after the fact that it was my mom's. John kept speaking words of encouragement and his voice and his presence just automatically made me feel more calm and controlled. Jodi just made me look at her and blow the contractions away and blow my baby out. The nurses were scrambling like mad getting the baby's bassinet ready, getting the “delivery” equipment ready... yelling at me not to push, but I couldn't not push. I wasn't pushing; Joey was. The nurse checked me quickly and confirmed I was complete and I guess it was pretty obvious anyway, because his head was there. One or two more contractions and he just sort of slipped out, into the hands of Rhonda the nurse. He'd had his left arm bent up around his own neck, so I did tear a bit on delivery. He cried immediately on his birth and I felt such physical and emotional relief once he was out. They brought the baby up to my chest and started rubbing him vigorously. That wasn't really what I'd wanted, but I was so bewildered at that point that I was okay with pretty much anything that didn't hurt him. John did manage to stop them from clamping the cord before it stopped pulsing, so we did get that wish fulfilled for this baby. And John was able to cut the cord, which fulfilled his wish that had been stolen from him at Mikey's birth.

Joseph Cuono was born at 1:14am on Thursday, September 17, 2009, approximately 13 minutes after we'd walked into the hospital room. He weighed 6 lbs 15 ounces and measured 19.5 inches long. He had a full head of beautiful black hair and the most gorgeous deep almond-shaped eyes I've ever seen. His head was perfectly round; after all, it didn't spend a lot of time getting squeezed through the birth canal! We put him to my breast within 15 minutes of his birth, and he did latch on. Nursing was slow for his first day of life, but on his second he really figured it out and has been eating like a champ ever since!

The doctor who practices with my midwife arrived about 5 minutes after he was born. She delivered his placenta and stitched up my 2^nd degree tear. She gave us a bit of a stern look over not having arrived in time to get antibiotics due to my positive GBS diagnosis. It wasn't deliberate on our part though. Joey just decided to be born a lot sooner and quicker than we thought he would! (And as an epilogue to that part of the story, the blood culture they drew from Joey came back completely negative, as we knew it would since my membranes didn't rupture until right before he came out).

So there it is, my completely natural birth story for my second son. I am SO proud of myself and my son. By trusting in us, I was able to have the experience that I wanted to have. I am SO grateful for the support of my amazing husband John and my wonderful mom Cathie and incredible doula Jodi. Without positive people believing in me and telling me that I could do it, I'm not sure that I could have. My recovery from this birth has been light years better than that from my intervention heavy one. I can't believe that it's mere coincidence.

Although I didn't actively employ many Hypnobabies techniques during the labor and birth, I think that it helped me tremendously. I think that having practiced feeling relaxed and calm for the last few months of my pregnancy helped me to feel relaxed and calm during labor even if I didn't consciously enter a state of hypnosis. I think that all the affirmations and positive language that I'd absorbed and lived about how birthing is natural and easy and comfortable really helped my overall state of consciousness and made that true for me.